No.10 ‘Partygate’ blamed on Japanese knotweed

Published on 01-04-2022 by Dr Paul Beckett

[April Fool!]

An excuse given in some answers to the questionnaire issued by Scotland Yard to attendees of No.10’s various lockdown parties, which breached covid rules, has included:

“meetings and actions to discuss and control Japanese knotweed”.

Scotland Yard has not disclosed who gave the excuse, but it has confirmed that as part of their investigations they have approached grounds maintenance staff at No.10.

The excuse, apparently given by several civil servants and private staffers at No.10, states that at least one of the ‘parties’ was organized as a meeting to discuss and then action the removal of Japanese knotweed that had spread from a compost heap in the no.10 gardens. Details include the fact that civil servants had picked and cooked some of the knotweed into a pie – it’s well known that Japanese knotweed is edible and quite tasty (see here for a Japanese knotweed crumble recipe).

Scotland Yard has refused to comment on the veracity of the excuse and whether or not it might mean that those attending the knotweed meetings would be exempt from any sanctions for breaking covid-19 lockdown rules.